Framework · Influence · Influence
Reciprocation
People feel obliged to repay what others give them first: favors, gifts, information and concessions. It holds even for givers people dislike and for gifts nobody asked for, and small gifts can bring much larger returns. It has two routes: a favor before the ask, and a concession before the ask.
Plain label: give first, and concessions get returnedAlso known as: reciprocity, rule of reciprocation, give and take, reciprocal concessions
The rule (Ch.2, pp.13-15). Every known society teaches it, and it lets people give first without risking a loss. It is exploitable because it overpowers dislike, enforces debts nobody asked for (the obligation to receive) and can produce unequal exchanges (Ch.2, pp.15-27).
Two routes INF-M-10 (Influence Ch.2, p.27)
- Give a favor, then ask for a return favor (in-t-rc-01, in-t-rc-03, in-t-rc-06).
- Make a concession, then expect one back: rejection-then-retreat (in-t-rc-16, in-t-rc-23) INF-M-12 (Influence Ch.2, p.28).
Limits of the concession route. The follow-up only has to be smaller than the opener; an opener nobody could accept looks like bad-faith bargaining; only people who saw the first request feel the pull; one retreat, not a loop (Ch.2, pp.29-38).
The defense (Ch.2, pp.38-41). Accept real gifts; once a gift turns out to be a device, people relabel it as a sales device and the sense of owing goes away. That is why a gift in a product must be valuable even to someone who never pays.
In a product [S]. Value before the ask at sign-up and at the paywall, reverse trials, and one honest fallback after a decline. Sub-rubric: how much value and how many minutes come before the first ask, the ratio of ask to gift, and a clean way to decline.
Sources
Influence · Robert Cialdini
Ch.2, p.27 · Ch.2, p.28 · Ch.2, p.13
Source IDs: INF-M-10INF-M-12
Book content is paraphrased, never quoted at length. Last verified October 24, 2026.
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